May 2021
Monday, May 3, 2021 - Edition #253
Q & A: Derek Pipes
The famous director and organizer of the National Bicycle Race and the owner of his own online knitting shop, Derek Pipes, is giving us a exclusive question and answer. These questions were sent to us by the readers of the Daily Squeaker. Derek Pipes will also be answering some of the most frequently asked questions. More information on the National Bike Race and Derek Pipes can be found in editions April 26-27.
Q: Why did you become director/organizer of the National Bike Race?
A: They were hiring and I applied for the job. I guess I have a very logical and organized mind.
Q: Why did you start your own online knitting store?
A: I love knitting and it calms me down. I couldn’t open an “actual” store, because I travel a lot.
Q: Favorite color, drink, and food.
A: Pastel aqua, chamomile tea, and garlic naan.
Q: How long have you been director of the National Bike Race?
A: 16 years, I started in 2005. I participated in the race for 6 years (1997-2003).
Q: Are you married?
A: No.
Q: Do you know how to crochet/pearl?
A: Yes.
Q: Do you make blankets/pillows?
A: No.
Tuesday, May 4, 2021 - Edition #254
Hamsterville Water Police Member Hospitalized!
The Hamsterville Area Water Police were in a near-fatal crash yesterday afternoon when a speedboat crashed into a Water Patrol Boat in a lake near Hamsterville. The speedboat driver was talking on the telephone and not paying attention when the boat crashed. The entire Hamsterville Water Police team was on the patrol boat working on some special maneuvers when the incident happened. The only member of the team that was severely injured was Nellie Clearwater, who was steering the patrol boat and was knocked unconscious when she hit her head on the steering wheel. Nellie also broke an arm at the impact.
The speedboat driver was heavily fined and his speed boat license was taken away. He is also paying Nellie’s hospital bills. Unfortunately, these types of incidents are happening more and more often, said the Water Police team captain, Albert Slap-Tail, “rodents aren’t paying attention, or texting, or calling rodents while on the water. Safety is very important. I hope everyone was reminded of that today.”
Nellie Clearwater should be out of the hospital by next Thursday, but will not be able to return to her duties until she is fully recovered.
Wednesday, May 5, 2021 - Edition #255
Maria Fur has stylish new Competition!
Maria Fur, owner of the Mrs. Maria Fur’s Hair Salon has stylish new competition in Hamsterville. Lady Zoe Blackberry is opening her own fur salon in Hamsterville.
Lady Zoe Blackberry’s salon is called “Stylish Fur for the Stylish”. Lay Blackberry is a Pomeranian (dog type), she was born and raised in Paris, France and is known for her elegant and simple style. She went to a French hair styling school at age 22, and recently moved to Hamstington.
Stylish Fur for the Stylish is the third fur salon in Hamsterville (the other two are Mrs. Maria Fur’s Hair Salon and Modern Fur). It seems that Lady Blackberry is focusing more on the Cat and Dog populations than the rodent populations. Her salon is located on Third Street in Hamsterville.
Maria Fur hopes that Lady Blackberry and her will get along and that it won’t turn into a fierce rivalry. “I mean, I get along with everyone at the Modern Fur salon. I hope it will be the same with Lady Blackberry,” Maria Fur told reporters.
The Daily Squeaker hopes to interview Lady Zoe Blackberry soon.
Many rodents have already decided that they will stick with their current stylist. One rodent told reporters, “I’ll wait and see before trying this new salon. She [Lady Blackberry] is very new to the area, I think she could introduce some very interesting styles. I mean, she did learn and grow up in Paris, France.”
Thursday, May 6, 2021 - Edition #256
Summer Solstice: Archery Competition???
Rodents all over Hamstington have been preparing for the annual Summer Solstice. Traditionally, there are large bonfires in NGPC and Hamsterville. This year, Hamsterville is adding something to their Summer Solstice program: an archery Competition. Many rodents were very confused when they first heard about this new event.
Willy Summersalt, the PE teacher at Mrs. Prickles Academy for Hedgehogs, started an after school club for learning Archery. The club became so popular that rodents from other schools tried to sign up! Other schools in the area have decided that they would like an archery program as well at their school, and have been trying to convince their PE teachers to teach archery next school year.
Willy Summersalt did agree to do a Summer Solstice Archery Competition at the annual bonfire this year. Rodents ages 7-15 may participate. No prior knowledge is required to compete. The rodents will be divided into 3 different age categories: 7-9, 10-12, and 13-15. The target will be farther, or closer, depending on the age category. Each rodent will be allowed to fire 5 arrows. Deepening on how close they get to a bullseye, they will be awarded different points. The rodent with the most points wins the age category and receives a golden ribbon. The winning rodents also win bragging rights and unlimited marshmallows for the bonfire hot chocolate!
There is no fee to compete, but only rodents may compete. Cats, dogs, birds, and llamas are only allowed to watch.
Missing!
Editions May 7 - May 12!
Editions will be posted by June 30, 2021
Please check back later (June 30)
Thursday, May 13, 2021 - Edition #263
Who is Sir Frederik Shortwhiskers?
Sir Frederik Shortwhiskers, a name often heard in the world of Sports, but who is he really?
Sir Frederik Shortwhiskers is one of the top coaches in the sports world. He coached some of the National champions in swimming. Before he started coaching, he won 5 gold medals, 2 silver, and 3 bronze medals for the 400 meter freestyle. In total he competed at 12 national swimming competitions. When he realized that his body couldn’t keep up with his swimming career he quit and started coaching.
He is famous for his memoir Freestyle Lifestyle and his strong opinion that tea is better than coffee (he even argued for tea in the Daily Squeakers debate Tea Vs Coffee - Edition: March 15).
Although he is very famous, Sir Frederik Shortwhiskers has managed to lead a very private life. He was knighted and became a “Sir” in 2018, when he saved a drowning hamster. He is now 83 years old, and was born in 1938. In the last interview that he gave he said that he was thinking about retiring. However, he is also scared of feeling useless without having anything to do.
Unlike other sports celebrities, Sir Frederik Shortwhisker personally replies to all of his fan mail and will even reply to “dislike/hate” mail. Luckily, he doesn’t often receive hate mail.
If you are interested in writing to Sir Frederik Shortwhiskers his fan mail address is:
PO Box #312
NGPC Central Mail
1117 First Street, NGPC
Hamstington
Friday, May 14, 2021 - Edition #264
STUDENTS LACKING GEOGRAPHICAL EDUCATION???
A recent survey was done by the Educational Board of Hamstington for High School students in 15 different schools about their understanding in Language Arts, Geography, and Math. 32% of all the students that participated failed the Geography assessment. The geographical questions asked about the different countries, bodies of water, and geographical features of Rodentus. The Education Board was stunned and shocked.
For many teachers, the big question is “why?”. Why are so many students failing geography. Many teachers think that it is not properly taught in elementary and middle school. Many high school teachers assume that the students know their geography and therefore don’t review it. School administrations (including elementary and middle schools) have been asked to review their curriculum plans for geography.
If next year's geography assessment scores don’t improve. The Educational Board will have to review each school and take necessary action so that students are learning everything important. To graduate High School, students have to pass their Geography Exams. The board hopes that students will not have to retake high school classes due to geography.
Monday, May 17, 2021 - Edition #265
Non-Rodents Finally Allowed to Join the City Council!
Last July, when there was a flea invasion in Rattington many rodents blamed Mrs. Skunk-Tail. A skunk living in Rattington who had been denied the right of being on the city council due to the fact that skunks are not “officially” rodents.
The high court in Hamsterville announced yesterday that all non-rodents (llamas, skunks, etc) living in Hamstington would now be allowed to be on school, city, and organization boards without filing for “special-conditions”. 🎉🎉🎉
Mrs. Skunk-Tail has already announced that she will be running for city council this fall. Teachers were also happy, now “non-rodent” teachers can run for school boards!
Skunks in Rattington banded together in November 2020 and created a petition for non-rodents to be allowed on school, city, and organization boards. The petition had over 4,000 signatures on it when it was handed in to the Hamstington court.
President WildFur personally congratulated the skunks of Rattington over the weekend on his trip there.
Tuesday, May 18, 2021 - Edition #266
Volleyball Team Banned after Shop Window Breaks!
The Ratstown Dwarf Hamster Volleyball Team was banned after Village Chocolataria’s window display was hit by a stray volleyball.
Village Chocolataria is a chocolate store in Ratstown by Ivy Park, where the volleyball team trains. During the practice session yesterday, the team was practicing with the volleyball when Valencia Winters' ball flew into the window display. Luckily, nobody was seriously hurt, but the ball - after flying through the window glass - conked Ms. Guinea, who was shopping for cocoa powder, on the head.
Ms. Guinea was promptly rushed to the Ratstown hospital and the city glassmaker was called to access the glass damage and to clean up. The volleyball team had to cut their practice session short and were told by the city council that they would have to find a new training area or disband the team.
The city glassmaker accessed the glass damage as ‘severe’ and said that the entire window had shattered. There is a big risk that small glass shards will be on the ground for the next few weeks and glass could have gotten into the chocolate.
The volleyball team will need to pay for the damage and Village Chocolataria will be closed for the next few weeks.
Wednesday, May 19, 2021 - Edition #267
Vivi-Anne gets stuck under the SunFlower Bridge!
The Vivi-Anne is a sailboat belonging to Peter Beet. He was bringing fresh fruit and vegetables to Gerbil Town and New Prairie Town when his boat got stuck. The SunFlower Bridge is just before Gerbil Town. The bridge is 7 feet high, unfortunately, the Vivi-Anne is 7 feet and 2 inches.
Peter Beet had to pay a fine of $200, and will also need to repair the Vivi-Anne’s mast. Luckily, no rodents were on the bridge at the time and nobody was injured. However, Peter Beet isn’t the first captain that has gotten his ship stuck under the SunFlower Bridge.
Last month, Thomas Acorn Capybara’s boat the Amelie got stuck under the SunFlower Bridge while sailing to Lake Ember near Squirrel Village. Some rodents have started a petition in Gerbil Town to make the bridge taller. So far the petition has gotten 306 signatures.
Thursday, May 20, 2021 - Edition #268
Hidden Valley & Whitefoam Waterfall overrun with Tourists!
In October 2020, Nancy Hedgehog found the “hidden valley” behind the Whitefoam Waterfall near Lemmingvill! Due to the heat wave in Hamstington, both the Hidden Valley and Whitefoam Waterfall are overrun with tourists.
Because the Hidden Valley is covered in fog and forest, it is usually cool. A family exploring the area also found a small swimming hole, that has now become a prime tourist destination. The Hamstington Parks Foundation has been asking rodents to stay out of the Hidden Valley area as a lot of the area hasn’t been explored. The Parks Foundation is scared that rodents will go missing while exploring unknown paths.
If rodents cannot follow the Park Foundation’s rules and guidelines about sticking to marked paths the Hidden Valley National Park will have to be closed. The Park Rangers have also been limiting the number of rodents allowed in the park.
The heat wave will continue until next Wednesday (May 26) and rodents are advised to keep windows closed until late afternoon, when it cools down, and to stay inside.
Friday, May 21, 2021 - Edition #269
Walking Sticks!
Carved by Hand, a wood store in Gerbil Town is now making walking sticks.
Stanley Rattail is the rat that owns Carved by Hand, a wood store in Gerbil Town. Recently, he started carving walking sticks. He told reporters that many rodents seemed to be asking for walking sticks, so he decided to start carving them.
Now, rodents can request hand-carved walking sticks. Rodents can create their own design and choose wood. The walking sticks are ready for pick-up between 5-14 days.
Carved by Hand was started by Stanley Rattail in 2007, after he retired as school principal. He started his shop by selling wooden spoons, butter knives, and bowls. In the last 14 years, he has added stools, tables, art easels, and many more household items! He also does woodwork classes, you can sign up here: carvedbyhand.org/woodclasses
Rodents can sign up for 1 week introduction classes, or longer 2 or 3 week workshops, where rodents will learn to carve butter knives or spoons.
Monday, May 24, 2021 - Edition #270
Q & A: Maragret Ling
The Daily Squeaker got back in touch with Maragret Ling, the rodent who dyed her fur rainbow style. Then she realized that the furstyle was permanent (until it grew out!). Today we do a “question and answer” with Maragret Ling.
Q: What is your job?
A: I’m an interior designer.
Q: Do you like your job?
A: Of course!
Q: Do you find it stressful?
A: Yes, some clients are a bit difficult.
Q: Have you designed an interior for any famous people?
A: Yes, Henric Paw (classical music componist) hired me to design his office space.
Q: Are you married?
A: No.
Q: Favorite color …?
A: Lavender.
Q:Favorite food …?
A: Thai
Q:Favorite drink …?
A: Thai Iced Tea.
Q: How long have you been an interior designer?
A: About 3 years now.
Q: Why did you dye your fur rainbow style?
A: I wanted to try something new, and they SAID it was only temporary.
Q: Has the dye faded, or washed out?
A: Yes, about a month after I got it dyed it finally washed out with sunflower oil.
Tuesday, May 25, 2021 - Edition #271
Mrs. crabapple: lifestyle
Mrs. Crabapple is the owner of the Apple Bakery in Hamsterville. Today we take a look at her lifestyle.
Mrs. Crabapple gets up every day at 4:30 to start baking the goods for the day. The bakery opens at 6:00 and usually the first customers trickle in at around 6:30.
Unlike other bakeries, Mrs. Crabapple’s main focus is bread and bread rolls. The first thing she starts baking is the fresh, daily bread and her different morning rolls. At around 5:00-5:30, her team of helpers (see page: The Apple Bakery). Sophia Fern usually helps customers find what they need. While the rest of the bakers bake the day’s bread and sweets.
Mrs. Crabapple also bakes some sweets, but she doesn’t bake iced cakes or ice cream cakes. “One year, before I had a team of helpers, I did ice cream cakes. The customers loved them. However, I ended up spending more time on the ice cream cakes than anything else. I lost a couple of regular customers who came daily for the fresh baked bread.” She told reporters.
Her husband, Mr. Crabapple, is a lawyer and works from home. She banned him from the kitchen a couple of months ago during bakery hours. The problem is that he has a very sweet tooth and would wander into the kitchen and eat an entire tray of cookies!!! So, the Crabapples built a treehouse for Mr. Crabapple to use as his office in the old willow tree in their backyard. No guests are allowed into the backyard because Mrs. Crabapple also has her vegetable garden there and bunnies have a tendency to forget all rules when they smell carrots.
Wednesday, May 26, 2021 - Edition #272
Hedgehog Spring Fair: 2021 Location
Last year, the Hedgehog Spring Fair was almost cancelled. It was planned to be held in Hamsterville, but after the public disagreed the location was changed to New Lemmington. The fair was not a success due to lack of attendance - and so the hedgehogs also had an autumn festival.
This year, the fair will be in HedgeRow City. The home of most hedgehogs in Hamstington (the city’s population is 90% made up of hedgehogs).
A couple of new regulations have been put in place by the Hedgehog Fair Committee (HFC).
All booths have to donate 10% of their profits to the Hedgehog Fair Fund (that funds all the hedgehog fairs). Profusely, booth owners only had to donate 5%.
The hours of the fair have changed. In the past the fair has been on the third Thursday of the selected month from 10:00am - 4:00pm. This year, the fair will be on the last day of the month (May 31) and from 10:00am - 6:00pm.
In past years, only hedgehogs were allowed to have booths at the fair (it is called the Hedgehog Spring Fair for a reason.) This year, all rodents may have booths at the fair. Unfortunately, cats still don’t have the right.
The Hedgehog Spring Fair is on May 31, 2021 in the HedgeRow City Plaza!
Thursday, May 27, 2021 - Edition #273
Ratstown Dwarf Hamster Volleyball Team is back!
The Ratstown Dwarf Hamster Volleyball Team was banned after a volleyball went through Village Chocolataria’s glass window. The team had to pay for the window and was told by the city counsel to find another play to practice or disband the team.
The team formerly practiced in Ivy Park and now will be practicing in Greenstone Park. Greenstone Park is in the northern area of Ratstown and is quite large. The volleyball court is in the middle of the park, so there is no danger that a volleyball will hit a building or a window.
Normal practices will begin next Wednesday. Currently, the team is full and if you would like to watch any of the games they are on June 11, June 20, and June 28. Practices are Wednesday and Thursday from 3:00pm-4:30pm, and Saturdays from 11:00am-1:15pm.
Friday, May 28, 2021 - Edition #274
President WildFur signs new school bus law
President WildFur signed a new law yesterday that makes it mandatory for buses in Hamstington to not charge students. This means that students do not need to pay a bus fare anymore. As long as students (in elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and university) have a ID that they can show the driver they do not need to pay. Many rodents have wanted this law for a long time and are very happy that it has finally been passed. However, bus drivers aren’t so happy because they make a lot of money by transporting students. President WildFur hopes that bus drivers won’t go on strike, as that would mean problems for the general transportation system in Hamstington.
Monday, May 31, 2021 - Edition #275
Hamsterville Roller Skating Party!
Hamsterville is holding a roller skating party next Saturday at the Roller Skate Hamsterville Center. The rodents of Hamsterville came together and planned this fun event as an end-of-school-year-begin-of-summer party.
All rodents are welcome for a fun night of roller skating, partying, and having a good time. A couple cafes and restaurants will be providing a light all-you-can-eat buffet for rodents to enjoy.
The rodent behind the event is Mildred Hamsters, who’s daughter (Ellen) is graduating this year from middle school. She told her friend Lucy CurlyFur, who helped her iron out all the details. From what sort of party it should be to how to get Hamsterville official permission to convincing the Roller Skate Hamsterville Center to help the party.
The entry fee for the Roller Skate Hamsterville Center is usually $5 for senior and young rodents (seniors: age 65+, young rodents: age 18 and under), and $8 for adult rodents. The fee for the party id $5 for all rodents, regardless of age and will help Roller Skate Hamsterville Center to improve and renovate its building.
Mark your calendars rodents: Roller Skate Hamsterville Center Summer Begin Party from 4:30 - 11:00 on June 5th!